10 things that indicate you are not high on life but on…!

“Have you put on weight?”

And I hear myself say in  my head, “Can I give you a one tight slap please? Heee.”

“I mean is there no other more creative, interesting, defining way of starting a conversation than this inane starter?” Please!

Ofcourse, some do exclaim with a hidden jealousy, “Oh you seem to have shed a lot of weight? How did you do that?  Dr. Shikha Sharma?  Timbuktoo fresh juice diet? Or the South Beach Diet?


Needless to say, weight remains a hot topic of conversation. Begin the topic and you would meet atleast 3 who would be on some diet, was able to shed 2 Kgs in 3 weeks and the third shunning it all to finally try the Atkins.

Over the last 10 odd years I have come to realise that one shouldn’t ask about a persons weight just like that. Not all do it consciously. For many it could be a medical condition.

Yes, I mean both being over-weight and under-weight. I am a living example of the same.

Never been thin really in my life, I tried shedding weight the drastic way many a times just like you.

Eg. During my Television days, when my producer mentioned I would look better with a different hair style and a some kilos shed, I went on a diet with a vengeance. Removed all the good things I LOVED from my plate and life. Butter, ghee and sweets. How does a South Indian survive? Baah…

I joined a slimming center. True. I burnt money and skin under those hot belts and sustained those nerve impulses to get inch loss happen like in an instant 2 minute noodle. I did become a near noodle.


Got the right compliments for a long time, till I again I went back to the night shifts of Radio and Television and eating non-sense samosas and bread pakoras for lunches and dinners in studios with 2 tsp sugar full of stallwala chai.

Cut to the onset of MG in 2005 and last years Myasthenia Crisis of 2015. To control the symptoms of Myasthenia Gravis, one has to go on steroids. Once on steroids there is no looking back till they are tapered. I was put on 80 mg of steroids per day. The result isn’t magical. One has to wait for 2 weeks for the effects to show. Till then you have to quiet in one corner depending totally on the other magic an always in dearth-drug Destinon, also known as Myestin.


And then the following 10 changes indicate you are not high on life or love but on steroids!

2006-07 when I weighed 85 kgs because of steroids

  1. You have breakfast, lunch and dinner yet feel hungry. You end up eating breakfast part 1 & 2, Lunch Part 1 & 2 and dinner Part 1&2
  2. You feel butterflies in your heart and Swadhishthaan chakra so much that if no one told you the side effect of steroids, you would confuse it for love.
  3. Taste buds go for a toss! Eat, taste, nibble whatever sweet, salty, bitter, they either taste the same or completely different. As of now I can vaguely taste sour, so it doesn’t matter if you are serving me some exotic caviar or an avocado salad or my desi dal roti.
  4. The weighing machine weighs down with your weight! Lower your eyes and you can actually see those heavy cheeks!!! The weight increases, slowly and steadily. And that’s when some smart Alek asks, Have you put on weight?” And I say in my head “can I give you a one tight slap please?”
  5. Egg shaped face. Within a month or so your face-cut changes from whatever it was to a perfect egg. And someone asks…Have you put on Weight…..And I say in my head….???
  6. There is no looking down too. You can hardly ever see your feet!!! You put on so much of weight, everywhere!
  7. Hairy fat face. Contemplate investing in a razor. Hair on the cheeks and chin would force you to think of going in for a regular shave like your hubby!
  8. Drink water and it accumulates in the feet!!!! Feet so fat, you would wonder if it’s an elephants! Water retention galore.
  9. Shoulders like boulders. Wherever, they find place, they fill it up with loads of skin and muscle and water.
  10. Sleepless nights. Less CO2 in the system and more of Oxygen. Yes, blame this too on the steroids. This needs an entire blog post to itself another day.

Wait, wait, wait, the good part is that once the steroids have messed us up inside out, once tapered off, the side effects disappear too and one can get back to being the original person, yeah after getting all the vitals checked, liver, kidneys, et all!



                       2008 when i weighed 68 kgs during my remission days!

There now does it make you feel better? That what happens to you happens to me too? If you have things to add and make other myasthenics feel better, please do add to the list. I am fighting a daily battle with them as also in gratitude saying thank you for taking me one step at a time towards remission with the steroids being tapered down slowly to 30 mg.present-pallavi

Till I write next on what sleeplessness is doing to my system…let me try and err…catch some sleep without falling down off the bed!

Meanwhile, we pray that the docs and scientists around the globe are in the process of finding the ultimate permanent cure for MG!!! AMen!


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